she's aliiiive!!!

Well hello there; fancy meeting you here. I know I’ve been derelict in my duties and have neglected to write for many moons. The reason? Who knows. I’ve felt very little desire to blog since before I left Korea. There are even still things I should write about and show you from Korea (like the north Korean border). But, alas, it may never happen. Hopefully you’re on facebook so that you can see pictures (but still not all of them) from China.

So anyhoo, I’ll catch you up. I finished teaching in Korea at the end of June. July was awesome in that I was able to spend 2 weeks in china, 5 days in Hawai’i, and two weeks in San Diego where I was re-united with the fam. Then I was finally back in Utah in august. I still haven’t seen everyone I’d like to see, and I haven’t gone down to Vegas to visit friends, which I really want to do, but I am back and have seen a lot of you. I’ve been up to Idaho a couple of times and was so happy to see my family again!! I love you!!!

As you know, I went to Korea in part due to burn out with the job. Coming back, I knew I had to be careful on how I re-entered the field. I don’t want to go through burn-out again, and I don’t want to sink down into the rut I previously inhabited. Yuck. You may also remember that I swore I’d never live in Utah again, and would never work at my old jobs again. I think the fates took that as a triple-dog-dare. I feel good about being here! What the??? I was hoping to re-locate to San Diego or somewhere warmer, outside of Utah, and close to my beloved ocean. However, the financial state of the world and my pocketbook made that a little difficult, not to mention the whole feeling-good-about-being-in-utah thing. Bother. So, here I am. I’m living at home to pay off more debt since I wasn’t able to pay off much in Korea. That part of the plan took a nose-dive along with the world economy and exchange rate. No worries. Living at home also allows me to examine my life, my next step in my life, and to do all that carefully. It’s fun to live at home anyway, I’ve been gone for so long and my family ended up missing me the whole time I was there.

To get some cash flowing in, I went to sos temporary staffing services and was lucky enough to get a position with the office of the medical examiner. It’s more blessing than luck; even jobs through a temp agency are hard to come by in this climate. It’s a Monday through Friday 8-5 job and it pays next to nothing, but it gets my bills taken care of. I do see dead bodies, and I have seen some crazy pictures and read some crazy stories. If you want me to tell you how NOT to die, just ask. I should be observing an autopsy soon and I’m a little nervous and excited for that. Today the doctor told me to eat a lot of breakfast so that they could take plenty of pictures of me losing it. :) he’s a fun one.

So back in my field – mental health therapy for children, teens, and families – I still want to specialize in PCIT and I’ve added TF-CBT to the specialty list. PCIT is parent child interaction therapy and is great, intensive therapy with parents and their kids. TF-CBT is trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy. Both are my style of therapy, being behavioral and backed by research that says they’re effective. The first place I worked at when I finished grad school has undergone some pretty good structural changes and they are now practicing both of these therapies. This has led me to apply for an open position with them, and today I interviewed for it. I don’t know if I’ll get offered the job since so many applied. The agency that serves Salt Lake County recently laid off somewhere between 100 and 200 employees, so they’re out there looking for work too. We’ll see. I trust that the right and best thing will happen. I am also doing the research and ground work to start up my own private practice. Since that will take time, and since I’m not married and so don’t have a hubs with benefits that cover me, I feel it’s wisest to accept the position if they offer it to me, and still build up the private practice on the side. My eventual goal is to be able to live just off the private, and to be highly specialized and a leading expert in my specialties. Pray for me!

On to the love front. I’ve been blessed to know from my loving Heavenly Father that I would have a desire to become an expert in a certain field, and that I would bless many lives. Thank heavens I know that a career is in my future/present and that it’s ok. It makes this whole single thing easier, at least a little bit, to handle. Today has actually been a doosy of a day and I’ve shed buckets of tears. I’ve been doing my best to be attractive when I venture out of the house, go to church, talk to the boys, and I’m online again. After the initial slew of grandpas and shorties that flirted with me online, I finally started getting some guys talk to me that I could handle looking into. If you’re married, go and kiss and hug your loved one now and thank him for taking you out of the game! It’s still a mess. I think the biggest problem I’m facing is the physical one. I’m a beautiful woman, but I’m not a skinny one. I am going to be such a good wife and mother, but not a skinny one. I’m intelligent, hard working, fun, adventurous, a goofball, but not skinny. I’ve had guys totally into me until they meet me and see that I’m not skinny. This is what I’ve decided to do, and most of you are going to gasp in horror. I had a series of email exchanges today with a new bloke and decided to be honest with him about me not being a size 2. He was kind enough to let me know that I was not for him. J yes, I did flip off his email. I hope he felt it. J just kidding. I didn’t flip him off. But I did curse and cry on the drive home, and then while at home too. It’s excruciatingly bitter to not have wanted anything else in life but marriage and family, and yet at the same time to have my biggest trial in life be the biggest obstacle to attaining that goal. Not to mention that I’m wired as a mormon woman and extra wired as Alivia to desire these righteous things. So, I decided to email all the guys I’m talking to now to do a screening process. If having a certain size wife is of utmost importance to them, I’d rather know now, before I get to know them better, have my hopes lifted, and then dashed in person. I know! You are all shaking your head and groaning. But, oddly enough I felt at peace while writing to these gentlemen, and have gotten a couple emails back assuring me that it is not a problem. What a comfort, seriously. Maybe there are a few good men. Maybe. Even though this has been a particularly hard day, and this issue has been a hard one in my life, I do want you to know that I know, KNOW, that my Heavenly Father is aware of me and loves me. I know that it’ll happen in the right time. I know that I’ll be able to meet and marry a chosen servant. I went to a relief society retreat last month and sister Oaks spoke. She married Elder Oaks when she was in her early 50s. With power, she told us that if we were single, we were supposed to be. There is a reason I’m single, and it’s the Lord’s reason. I’m doing my darndest to trust his timing while also improve myself. I really believe that the man I marry is going to be lucky to have me. I can’t wait to be able to adore someone and to be adored. Maybe it’ll happen in this life, maybe in the next, but I’m trusting the Lord’s timing and his missions for me here. I know I am in some of your prayers, and I appreciate it. I love ya!

Well, again I’ve been open and honest in that raw and probably uncomfortable way. Mom tells me I’m too open and honest. I’m still on the fence about that. J I’m me and here I am. So, that’s the update! I’m doing great, I’m happy, I’m looking forward to the future in my career, I’m looking forward to meeting some cool guys and maybe the guy for me. I continue to get healthier and I love my Lord dearly. We’ll hope that I don’t take so long to write again. Loves to you all………liv.

(a couple of housekeeping items: 1. here are most of the pics from china - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=155321&id=795438834&l=683f7672dd
2. We’ll be in Idaho for thanksgiving and Christmas, wahoo! 3. I’m writing this very late at night after a long and emotional day, so it’s ok to be gentle in your reactions)

long time no see

sorry folks. for some reason i haven't felt like blogging. or even posting pics on facebook. i'm not sure why. when i think about sorting through my last groups of pictures it just seems tiring.

i come home so soon! i'm feeling multiple ways about this. excited, anxious, nervous, sad, lots of things. i'm really excited to see my family again, and there are some things i've missed that will be fun to do/see/use again. here's the haps: last day of teaching is 6/30, move out 7/1, fly to china 7/2, fly back to seoul 7/13, fly to honolulu 7/14, fly to san diego 7/19, drive to utah 8/1 or thereabouts. so, i'll see y'all in august! wish me luck in china - that i don't get food poisoning, kidnapped and stolen into the sex slave trade, or drugged and get my kidney stolen from me. :)

you can see pictures of my birthday and trip to seoraksan here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=125420&id=795438834&l=46b4a2394f.

i went to the dmz/north korean border a couple weekends ago and need to post pics of that too. who knows when that will happen!

love ya! see you soon!

boseong

last weekend i took a two-day trip to the southern part of south korea to visit boseong, home of the green tea fields. 70% of the country's green tea is grown in this area. my trip was full of small, hmmm, mishaps? it made for an interesting little adventure! again, if you can't see these pics, here's the link to the facebook album: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=115569&id=795438834&l=092a3b10e6

i set my alarm for 6pm instead of 6am, so by the time i got to the bus terminal i had missed the morning bus so bought a ticket for the 3pm bus. it was a 5 hour bus ride, and when i arrived at the first bus terminal the lady who didn't speak english tried to help me get to my final destination - a seaside town called yulpo. long story shorter, i took another bus then a taxi and finally got to a motel in yulpo where 3 doors down from me there was a yelling couple (luckily i couldn't actually hear them in my room), and a lady out on the street that was lividly irate and screaming who woke me up 3 times. fun! seriously though, i don't mind experiences like that because it makes it all more memorable. and this lady, wow. i've never heard anyone scream at someone like that.

i woke up in the morning and went walking down to the sea. it was pretty and i found 3 shells that are keepers. all the things in the water are docks, or something similar. obviously seafood is a big cuisine item here.

whenever i go into the country i see cranes in the rice fields and would love to catch a picture of one. imagine the white against the green, it would make for a beautiful photo. this guy is on the shore and will have to do for now.

i took a bus back to boseong and on the way got so excited by this sneak peak. i've really been looking forward to seeing these green tea fields.

waiting at the boseong bus terminal were dozens of elderly people, mostly women. when i got onto my bus i snapped this pic from inside the bus so as not to be so obvious. so many of these ladies are about my half my height, literally. several of them have big packages, and when they're walking they carry them on their heads.

on both of my buses 99% of the riders were elderly. they were going to or coming from flea and farmer's markets. so cute.

ta-da! i finally arrived and the path going up to the main fields was lined with these pine trees. oh my land, i was in such heaven. living in seoul i'm always sucking in pollution and car exhaust and the wonderful smell of sewage. oh and of course cigarette smoke. walking on this path smelled so good i couldn't take enough deep breaths. i was in heaven!

this is one of the first fields and kept my excitement rising. i love the trees, tea field, bamboo fence with roots hanging out from something, moss covered rocks, and the pine tree borders on the sides of the pic.

laaaaaa! imagine the angels singing. breathtaking in real life and still makes me so tickled happy when i look at the pictures.

the three mounds in the middle of the picture are burial sites, graves. they also dot the country side and i actually really like how they look. i've decided that i want to be buried under a small mound too.

don't you love the curving?

i like the small contrast of the red leaf trees in the back left.

this is the second set of steep millions of stairs. i was the only white gal around, but i wasn't totally white - my face was plenty red. :)

at the top of the stairs when i could finally tear my eyes away from the fields, i looked up and realized that there were layers of mountains and water out there! must be the sea. oh my goodness, so gorgeous. you know a picture can't accurately capture these kinds of things, but this gives you an idea.

kimchi pots!! i love them and would love to have one in my home when i grow up. but instead, i opted to buy a mini one at the gift shop.

"i heart noke cha" "i heart green tea"

the last mishap was the scariest. i got back to the bus terminal with the strong feeling that i should go early, just in case. well, following the feeling paid off. i tried to pay for my ticket with a card, but out in the country i guess they don't use card machines, only cash. i didn't have enough cash, by half, to pay for the ticket and no one spoke english! i know the word for bank, so i said, "bank?" now imagine lots of korean talking and motioning out the door. not helpful. after a while i came back to the bus depot and asked again, and a guy was there that knew enough english to draw me a map to a bank that would hopefully have an open atm and would accept my card. i booked it down the street (i had an hour to find cash and get back) and luckily and amazingly found an atm in a grocery store. phew! i was supremely relieved. if i didn't get cash in time i would have missed the only bus going back to seoul that afternoon and would have missed a day of work. man! i also would have had to sleep in the dirty old bus depot because i didn't have enough cash to get a motel either. now that it's all done and everything's ok, i think it was a great experience! adventure!

today i'm off to the northeast part of the country. i have to use every weekend now that it's warmer again because i leave so soon! goodbye! have a beautiful day and fabulous weekend!

busan

and finally, here are the last 2 days of the 4 day trip i took back at the end of april. this is busan, the second largest city in seoul - about 4 million people - and the biggest port of south korea. i really liked it. if i can't find a job in the states i would consider coming back here to teach english. so again, if it takes too long to load these pictures you can look at the facebook album here - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=112866&id=795438834&l=3ab76023c5



the subways were so great because they were far less busier than in seoul. we usually got seats which is a rare occurence in seoul. this little guy was having so much fun trying to grab the rings. he finally got them! cutie.

this is gwangalli beach with a view of gwangan bridge, just beautiful.

peace.

the guidebooks say that you have to eat jeon while in busan, which is like a korean pancake. it has onions, carrots, and squid in it. it's really good, but i didn't have any of the squid.

classic - plastic surgery is a big thing here, and small faces are important. ?? i think that means a narrow face and narrow jaw?

this is on the street close to our motel, i love street food!

and finally! this is what i was most looking forward to with this whole trip. haedong yonggungsa is a buddhist temple on sea cliffs. just wait, it's gorgeous!

it was buddha's birthday weekend, hence the hundreds of lanterns. love them.

i love the shadows of the lanterns on the ground here.

his belly is black because so many have rubbed it. lucky buddha belly.

this is the most popular beach in south korea. i collected my sand from here. in summer this place is packed with umbrellas. there are so many that it has won a guinness book of world record.

i like the cliffs, rocks, and lighthouse in this picture.

this is the ktx we took home. it's a super speedy train. bus takes about 5 hours, this train takes about 3.

these two entertained us for the beginning of our journey home. the guy in the black jacket was still drunk from, whenever. and the guy on the left was working very hard on seeming suave.

lauara and i, homeward bound.